a life worth living for.

it's 1 am and i'm sitting in the hallway as i write this. i have been trying so hard to think about how to best put into words everything the Lord has been revealing to me this past week. i honestly don't know how to say everything i'm feeling but one thing i know is that my heart is full of joy. we serve such an awesome God, who is sovereign over all and works everything for the good of His children.

this past week has been a step forward in my relationship with the girls i've been meeting at the schools. i can't say enough about how much i love being around these girls and how much fun we have together. one thing i realized this past week is how much i actually care about these girls. that's one thing i didn't think about before i came on this trip. the Lord has given me a burden for them and because of that, i find myself constantly praying for them. although i want to share my faith with them, i know that i have no control over this situation. nothing i say is going to guarantee a difference in someone's life. only the Lord can open and change hearts. He's the ultimate Savior. i'm learning to keep trusting that the Lord has brought them in my life for a reason. all i can do is keep loving and serving them as best as i can. this is teaching me to make humility an everyday part of my life. my life is not my own and because of that, nothing is for my glory.

the more i read Mark 1:14 about the calling of the disciples and how they left everything they had to follow Jesus, the more my heart longs for the same dependance on the Lord. i want to forget the things of this world, everything i count precious in my sight, and without hesitation, follow my Savior. the Lord has been convicting me of this message this past week and why it's so easy for me to fall for the things of this world. i know i'm a sinner and will continually fail Him, but i don't want my life to count for something temporary. i know what Jesus has done for me and how He has saved my life. why don't i desire the same thing for others who don't know this good news so badly that i give up everything, even all my dreams and desires, just so they can taste and see that the Lord is good?...and that He is rich in mercy and love for them? i've been thinking about this so much this past week and praying that the Lord would save me from myself and my selfish desires so i can live for something so much bigger than myself. i want a heart that's so consumed by the Lord and His will for my life that everything else fades away.

                                               always encouraged by my ministry partner, Aw

                                            they love throwing the crown, i don't blame them

                                                   bowling with my girls, such a fun night

                                                i love every second i have with aer and kik

                                abby and i introduced our ministry group to some american food
                                    (made from scratch, abby did most of it but i helped too, dad)

                                             my ministry group, these women are a blessing

                                                     baking brownies with mai and ploy

                                          buddhist temple, we got to go in it this past saturday

                                                   on the top floor of the buddhist temple

                                                 meet mac, a famous Thai superstar, oh yeah

                        just swing dancing for the Thais in the middle of one the biggest markets

                                                        i adore these girls so, so much

                                         i touched an elephant for the first time, made my day

the Lord is moving in Thailand and it's evident to see that He has something incredible for this amazing nation. through it all, i'm learning about what it means to be a servant, and being reminded to put my focus on the perfect example Jesus has set for us. He doesn't need me at all and yet chooses to use me in His beautiful story. i'm continually praying that He would use me the way He wants to because after all, He knows the bigger picture and i don't. however, i do know that one day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord! this news is completely worth giving up everything for.

""Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is them, singing: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!"" Revelation 5:13

-milc